There is a simple rule to homework – most children don’t enjoy doing it. Studying and homework requires more sitting and more reading after they’ve spent several hours at school doing just that activity. You can’t make them do it either. This is their problem, not yours. As a parent it is your job to help them develop the structure to study but you haven’t failed as a parent if your child’s report card reflects poor study habits.
On the other hand if you haven’t taught them how to study and been persistent in developing those habits in your child then you have fallen short in your responsibilities.
Children don’t want to do homework so let’s just eliminate that word from the vocabulary. You can replace it with study or skill time. You may not think that the word makes much of a difference but when children tell you they have no homework assigned they will still have studying to do.
Give the children the tools they need to study. A well lit, quiet work environment that is comfortable and has all of the necessary items for studying. Limit their distractions by doing your own quiet work during their study time. Study time is a family commitment. If you can’t commit to an hour or two an evening to help the kids through school how can you expect the kids to also commit to a quiet study time?
One of the funny things about children is that even though they protest they thrive on structure. Your responsibility is to provide them with the structure and the time to do their studies. Even when they come home without ‘homework’ they still have studying to do. Enforce the study time. They will complain but at the same time their grades will go up and they will appreciate learning this habit for years to come. But keep the routine simple and predictable. If the study time is before dinner enforce that time every day.
Find out how much homework they actually have each day by keeping open lines of communication with the children’s teachers. You may want to keep a notebook where the children write down their daily homework and the teacher signs off on it each day. You can use this notebook to communicate with the teacher and write notes if you want.
You will find that you can motivate your child to do their homework much easier when you use praise and compliments and use them often. Children respond well to compliments when they are real and not faked. They can tell when they have done something that should be complimented and when you are making it up. A made up compliment is just that, made up. It means nothing and is hollow. You aren’t increasing the child’s self-esteem but instead are communicating that you don’t value your child enough to find something that is really worth the compliment.
You also help to motivate your child to do their homework by not doing their homework for them. You can help them, answer their questions, and assist them but not actually do the questions for them. Ask them questions such as “Where can you find the answer?”, “What parts do you understand?”, “What parts don’t you understand?”, “Can you give me an example?”.
Check your child’s homework for completeness, neatness and accuracy and then give them feedback on what you see. If they need to go back and do it again explain why. If they turned in something like this at work they wouldn’t have a job. And if they didn’t feel they have the time to do it right the first time they won’t have time to do it a second or a third time.
Resources:
Empowering Parents: The Homework Battle
http://www.empoweringparents.com/how-can-you-make-your-child-do-it.php#
Parents: What can I do to Encourage My 5 Year Old to do Her Homework
Great Schools: What are Ways to Motivate Kids to do their Homework
http://www.greatschools.org/high-school/community/discussion.gs?content=64553
Education: Five Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Do Homework
http://www.education.com/reference/article/five-ways-motivate-your-kids-do-homework/
Psychology Today: Homework Motivation Coaching Strategies for Children and Teens
The Parent Institute: 7 Proven Ways to Motivate Children to do Better in School
http://asfms.net/parentworkshops/pdfs/SevenProvenWaystoMotivateChildren.pdf
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